First Class Winner
I think it's so abstract that something life altering always happens to me between posts. I suppose what's happened to me is life altering; if only it alters my life and not those around me. I have no reason to dwell on this fact nor should I post this on blogger. I think this mainly because witty comments will be made (or no comments at all) about something that is important to me but I just think I need to write this one out.
I will be a senior this upcoming year and I have taken one good friend on the ride that is highschool with me. He's been there for me since day one my freshman year, even when I spontaneously introduced myself and asked him to pass a note for me only to get him in trouble. But we've been through a lot together both helping when the other had suicidal depression or just couldn't decide what to wear to formal events.
And when I first met this boy, I couldn't help but think he was the most unattractive male I'd ever laid eyes on- although my friends boldy disagreed. I only saw him as someone I could call at three in the morning and sit on the bank of the lake with in silence.
We were the kind of friends who could go a week or a month without talking and then out of the blue start a conversation and not ask "why?" but just accept it.
He is my other half.
And recently I've developed a sort of love(;•a strong positive emotion of regard and affection) for him. It's hard for me to sort out if this is an infatuated love or merely a love one has for family. It's quite difficult to place this emotion with my lack of knowledge in the department and my teenage hormones.
As fickel as the topic may be, everyone was convinced that we were going to get married and anyone that knew him said he was devoted and in love with me. But I didn't believe them for they weren't words that were uttered from his mouth. A small part of me did believe them though, as a small part of anyone who wishes to be loved would believe.
It was a night or two ago that he returned home from a mission trip with his church. He'd been out of the country for two weeks and immediatly alerted me when he was back.
This is when I witnessed what is making me write all of this now.
We hangout every Friday and talk for a good 2 or 3 hours on the phone whenever I call him. And he told me he had to go at 10 and he couldn't hangout with us this Friday. Immediatly, I assumed it was a girl and asked him. He told me that he might have a girlfriend after he called her at 10. Naturally, I was happy for him for he deserves only the best in happiness.
He told me to call him back for the verdict and so I did at 11:30. He was ecstatic for this girl that he'd liked for over a year decided to be his girlfriend.
Naturally, I did what any human with the slightest of emotions would do and gave myself time to grieve.
After I finished cheering him on, we hung up and I spent 30 minutes crying. And the next hour laying in bed, begging sleep to fall upon me so I wouldn't have to think anymore.
Then the following two hours I thought about it and reasoned with myself and decided that if I could still have his friendship then it wasn't so bad.
I used the past tense on most of this because everyone knows how it goes in highschool. There are a select few who can balance out their friends with their significant other. And from what I've learned, highschool boys aren't grouped in with those few.
But I'd like to believe he's different. Because he is. But no matter how different, he's still human and excited about this new blooming romance.
I document serious events like this sometimes so I can look back on myself and see how silly I was.
-Salem
I will be a senior this upcoming year and I have taken one good friend on the ride that is highschool with me. He's been there for me since day one my freshman year, even when I spontaneously introduced myself and asked him to pass a note for me only to get him in trouble. But we've been through a lot together both helping when the other had suicidal depression or just couldn't decide what to wear to formal events.
And when I first met this boy, I couldn't help but think he was the most unattractive male I'd ever laid eyes on- although my friends boldy disagreed. I only saw him as someone I could call at three in the morning and sit on the bank of the lake with in silence.
We were the kind of friends who could go a week or a month without talking and then out of the blue start a conversation and not ask "why?" but just accept it.
He is my other half.
And recently I've developed a sort of love(;•a strong positive emotion of regard and affection) for him. It's hard for me to sort out if this is an infatuated love or merely a love one has for family. It's quite difficult to place this emotion with my lack of knowledge in the department and my teenage hormones.
As fickel as the topic may be, everyone was convinced that we were going to get married and anyone that knew him said he was devoted and in love with me. But I didn't believe them for they weren't words that were uttered from his mouth. A small part of me did believe them though, as a small part of anyone who wishes to be loved would believe.
It was a night or two ago that he returned home from a mission trip with his church. He'd been out of the country for two weeks and immediatly alerted me when he was back.
This is when I witnessed what is making me write all of this now.
We hangout every Friday and talk for a good 2 or 3 hours on the phone whenever I call him. And he told me he had to go at 10 and he couldn't hangout with us this Friday. Immediatly, I assumed it was a girl and asked him. He told me that he might have a girlfriend after he called her at 10. Naturally, I was happy for him for he deserves only the best in happiness.
He told me to call him back for the verdict and so I did at 11:30. He was ecstatic for this girl that he'd liked for over a year decided to be his girlfriend.
Naturally, I did what any human with the slightest of emotions would do and gave myself time to grieve.
After I finished cheering him on, we hung up and I spent 30 minutes crying. And the next hour laying in bed, begging sleep to fall upon me so I wouldn't have to think anymore.
Then the following two hours I thought about it and reasoned with myself and decided that if I could still have his friendship then it wasn't so bad.
I used the past tense on most of this because everyone knows how it goes in highschool. There are a select few who can balance out their friends with their significant other. And from what I've learned, highschool boys aren't grouped in with those few.
But I'd like to believe he's different. Because he is. But no matter how different, he's still human and excited about this new blooming romance.
I document serious events like this sometimes so I can look back on myself and see how silly I was.
-Salem
posted by Salem at 5:50 AM
2 Comments:
This is very disappointing news. I've been there. Probably happens to the best of us.
You should just ignore the boys you go to school with. They're not worth it right now.
Oh, right, it's not that easy.
I know I am a hopeless romantic deep down but right now this type of stuff makes me want to puke. Maybe cause it's not my life.
Ever watch South Park? Now, when you see this boy I want you to picture me at my high school going up to some boy I like and puking all over him before any of us gets the chance to speak.
It'll make you laugh, at least.
Now, has that ever actually happened? I will leave that for your imaginations to decide.
My imagination has decided yes.
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